


No Good for Me

by telliefan (captainamergirl)



Category: One Life to Live
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-16
Updated: 2016-05-16
Packaged: 2018-06-08 19:11:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6869929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainamergirl/pseuds/telliefan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Langston knows it's wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Good for Me

**No Good for Me**  
  
**Langston's POV**  
  
I can’t help it. I have to call him. We had a fight a few days ago and I know I should be done with him for good but I never really mean it when I say I am through with him. I know it’s wrong. How can I love Markko so much and yet crave Ford’s touch so much at the same time? What’s wrong with me? When did I become this lying, cheating, contrary person? Why can’t I stop doing what I’m doing?  
  
He answers in that gravelly, husky voice of his that always turns me on… _Why, why, why?_ … “Ford, its Langston. Can I … Can I come to your hotel?”  
  
“Yeah, if you want.” He’s so non-committal, like he doesn’t really care if I come over or not. I know I don’t mean as much to him as he means to me but I just can’t stay away. I am not strong enough to tell myself “no”.  
  
_I pick up the phone  
Though I know it’s wrong  
When I hear your voice  
I have no choice, I’m not that strong_  
  
As I drive to his hotel, my mind is all over the place. I think again how wrong all of this is. He’s never once even offered me a commitment. I know deep down he’s not good for me but yet I still have to see him.  
  
_And I keep running back to you  
I don’t know why I do  
Something here just won’t let me stay away  
It feels so good to hold you close  
Even though deep down inside I know  
That you’re no good for me_  
  
I show up at this door and the fight we had a few days ago about him schmoozing the pizza girl is completely forgotten by him. He pulls me into his strong arms and for a long moment, I can forget it too. He kisses me until I feel drunk and woozy on his affection and then we’re undressing and with few words spoken, no gentle remarks, barely any foreplay, he’s sinking inside of me and I am wrapping my legs around him and holding on tightly. As if for dear life. He’s my drug. I have it bad and I don’t know why. It’s not like he’s offered me forever or anything more than this moment.  
  
_We make up  
Then we make love  
It’s a habit  
I’m the addict and you are my drug_  
  
He finishes up by screaming out my name. For a moment, I take comfort in that. He said my name. But as he slides out of me, I feel empty and alone all over again. He’s asleep in the next minute, sawing quiet _zzz’s_ , and I know he will expect me to be gone when he wakes up.  
  
As I get dressed, tears are burning my eyes. I feel the gentle ache between my thighs where he was moments before. Then I turn and look at him, his face buried in the pillows, not a care in the whole world. He has offered and given nothing. I got burnt again but I know the truth.  
  
_I’m drawn to you like cold hands to a fire_  
_When I get burned, you’d think I’d learn_  
  
_But I keep running back to you_  
 _Oh there’s something here that just won’t let me stay away_  
 _It feels so good to hold you close_  
 _Even though deep down inside I know_  
 _That you’re no good for me_  
  
I’ll be back again. I always come back even though I know he’s absolutely no good for me.  
  
FINIS


End file.
